7 Toxic as F Traits in Relationships You May Think are Normal
Listen up, babe. Relationships can get messy, and sometimes the crap we put up with?! (shhheeit!)
It’s toxic as hell. But when you grow up with some dysfunction, those toxic traits can feel way too familiar.
You might not even see them for what they are.
“You don’t know what you don’t know,” right?
Well, that’s why I’m here. To break it down for you.
To help you spot those toxic-as-f*** traits you might’ve thought were normal—but newsflash, they’re not.
So grab your wine, your tea, or hell- lets do a shot.. vodka? tequila?
and let’s get real. We about to get deep up in here.
1. Ignoring You
What It Looks Like:
He doesn’t notice when you’re upset.
Ignores your texts or calls like you don’t even exist.
Always "too busy" or stuck in his own little bubble.
Why It’s Toxic:
Girl, you’re in a relationship, not a ghost town. Ignoring someone is emotional neglect, plain and simple. Whether it’s on purpose or not, it’s unacceptable.
What to Do:
Speak your truth. Tell him how the behavior makes you “feel”. (soft, feminine, communication)
If he keeps dismissing you, ask yourself why you’re tolerating this B.S.
2. Gaslighting
What It Looks Like:
He’s twisting your words, making you question yourself.
“That never happened,” “You’re crazy, you’re imagining things,” or What you saw you didn’t see.
Basically convincing you that you are “crazy”
Why It’s Toxic:
Gaslighting is emotional torture. It messes with your head makes you feel like you can’t trust your own reality
and like you’re losing your mind.
What to Do:
Write down or use your phone to record conversations and listen to it later. (yes-its sneaky- but you need to see who your dealing with)
Keep track of what’s real, and talk to someone you trust. You’re not crazy, babe—he’s just messing with your mind.
3. Using Weed, Alcohol or Other Substances to Bond
What It Looks Like:
The only time ya vibe is when there’s booze or weed involved.
Without it? He’s there and you're way over here- there’s no real connection.
Why It’s Toxic:
If the foundation of your relationship is a bottle or a blunt, what happens when that’s gone? Real love doesn’t need a crutch.
What to Do:
Try spending time sober. If there’s no spark, no vibe, maybe it’s time to reevaluate.
4. Manipulation
What It Looks Like:
Showering you with gifts, but it comes with strings attached.
Playing the “rescuer” to keep you dependent.
Doing things “for you,” but expecting something in return.
Why It’s Toxic:
It’s sneaky, babe. Manipulation feels like love at first, but it’s all about control.
What to Do:
Call it out. Ask questions: (in a soft, vulnerable -feminine tone) “It feels really nice when you do X -why are you doing all this”?
Then tap into your Feminine Power- your intuition. Deep down does something feel “off”?
If something feels “sketchy” it might be time to bounce.
5. Triangulation
What It Looks Like:
Flirting with someone else to make you jealous.
Bringing in friends or family to gang up on you in fights.
Posting shady crap on social media to get a reaction.
Why It’s Toxic:
It’s immature and manipulative AF. Love isn’t about playing games or creating drama.
What to Do:
Lay it out: I feel so “hurt” when you do X. “This stops now, or we’re done.”
No negotiations. Your heart isn’t a playground.
6. Victim-Control Dynamic
What It Looks Like:
He’s always the “good guy,” and somehow you’re always the “bad one”.
He guilt-trips you into doing what he wants.
He “plays” helpless so you end up doing everything.
Why It’s Toxic:
It’s a power move, babe. He stays in control by playing the victim, making you feel like the bad guy every damn time.
What to Do:
"See the pattern, babe, and shut it down. Don’t play their game.
Real love’s about balance, not guilt trips and blame games. Keep it real, keep it healthy."
7. The Bait and Switch
What It Looks Like:
He starts off amazing—flowers, affection, deep talks—but once you’re hooked, he flips the script.
Suddenly, he’s distant, dismissive, or says, “I never promised that.”
Why It’s Toxic:
It’s manipulative and cruel. You fell for the version of him he wanted you to see, not the real him.
What to Do:
Pay attention to patterns, not promises. If his actions don’t match his words, he’s showing you exactly who he is.
Believe it!
The Bottom Line
Toxic love ain’t love, babe. It’s just familiar chaos—easy to excuse, tough to spot, but trust me, it’s not the real deal.
And you? You deserve so much better.
So, take a hard look at your relationship.
Be real with yourself—are those toxic vibes starting to show?"
If they are, it’s time to call it out, set those boundaries, or pack your crown and bounce.
‘Cause real love? It sees you, hears you, respects you—and never, ever makes you doubt your worth
or eat away at your mental and emotional health
Now- hold your head high, and remember who you are
—a straight-up queen. Don’t settle for less. 💛
Lots of Love,
